Super power!
Last year, I did a podcast series on the menstrual cycle so I could educate myself as well as normalize talking about the subject. One of the things I learned is that our menstrual cycle, if we get to know and work with it, can become our super power.
Well, yesterday, I woke up before the race in Herentals to find out it was my special time of the month. I get the whole superpower thing; one of the things professionals say is that the day our period starts is the moment where our hormones are the most similar to male hormones, which technically means your body is ready to perform...superpower! Well, let me tell you, when your belly is cramping, your back hurts and your legs feel super heavy, you don't exactly feel like saving the world! At least not me...In fact, on that day every month, all l feel like doing is being at my house, curled up in a ball and drinking hot chocolate while contemplating the fact that I should probably start building a family.
BUT! I have learned that the superpower comes when you get to KNOW and WORK with your cycle...which is what I've been trying to do over the last year. So I woke up and got to work: foam roller on legs and lower back to flush, longer warm up on the roller to allow my legs to feel less heavy, etc. And this whole feeling of wanting to curl up in a ball with hot chocolate, a warm blanket and babies at my feet? Well I can't kid myself. This couldn't be further from what I was actually about to do: 55min of FULL GAS racing in the cold, mud, and sand, while pushing through the pain in your lungs and legs with 60 other women battling each other.
But here is the thing: I've learned that these thoughts (of comfort and family and being home) are not my own. That's not what I actually want. They are kind of instinctive and ALWAYS come to me at that time of the month. I used to think they were true and that I probably was ready to stop racing. Now, I know it's my body talking. And THAT my friends, is the true superpower: Knowing that I have CONTROL over these thoughts. Knowing that the true me is actually excited to race.
That said, aware that I was riding this fine line of falling in the trap of my hormones VS getting in a mindset ready to fight, I went to work. I dug into my race strategies and the key execution points I had written down for myself. I talked race tactics with Dave. I followed my schedule to the T and did not look at my phone. I made sure to smile, and to engage and chat with positive people, to immerse myself in a good vibe. And I kept constantly reminding myself of my key execution tips for the race.
And guess what: It WORKED.
Honest performance
I absolutely love the course in Herentals. I raced it twice and it might be my favorite course on the Belgian circuit. It is both fast and technical, it has a bit of everything.
I knew that the race would be fast today and that I needed to be extra on top of my accelerations out of corners if I wanted to be able to follow wheels. I also knew the start would be crucial. We had two short stretches of pavements before turning left into a long and deep puddle of mud that everyone would run...leading us to some really fast riding sections. Now, you can know the start is crucial. Executing it perfectly through that fast chaos is another order...after all, every person on the start line has the same godamn plan!
We got through a clean start and here I was. I still have the vison in my head: Running ankle deep in the mud, trying to make my way through people, then looking up and seeing some riders already riding away, while I was stuck behind people and bikes, still ankle deep in the mud. When I finally got back on the bike, there was an urgency to move to the front FAST. That's what I set out to do, but I never made connection with the front group. They were already gone.
After that, I actually had a great time. I felt very focused and had something to put my attention to at every section of the course. I felt lie I was executing both my movements, accelerations, and my general plan pretty well. I was chasing Leonie Bentveld and Blanka Vas for most of the race. Exchanging places with Leonie and coming very close but never quite making contact with Blanka.
Cyclocross is fun
In the end, I crossed the line in 8th place in a strong field. Of course, I would love to be battling for the podium. I think it's okay to want more, but I also have to be realistic and honest with myself. Yesterday was a great performance, and a very honest one. For the form I have now, this was really the best I could do. And this is something I can be proud of.
I'm also happy I used my "super power" and didn't let my instinctive and hormonal vibes ruin the day.
In the end, it was actually a really fun day! I connected with a lot of people, the fans were crazy, I did a strong race...and most of all, I had so much fun racing and pushing myself.
It is cool to realize that I can still find a lot of fun out of this sport even when I'm not at the very top of my game.
I truly do have the CX Fever.